dating advice :)

Honey Bear

Honey Bear

New member
Hi Guys :):wave:
I have been dating my moms plumber for 2 months.(he is cute and very loving towards me and the dogs) He has never invited me to his home and we really only see each other during the weekdays (afternoon). No night time calls or night time dates or weekend dates....I really like him...but I think there are a bunch of red flags here...I have asked him is he is married or has a girlfriend and he says no.
Any advice?
 
Jeannie

Jeannie

Super Moderator
Well if you have not been to his house and you only see him during weeday afternoon I'd say he is married or has a significant other.

You say you are dating? No Friday or Saturday dinners? No movies? No weekend activities? He's married or has a significant other.

He says no he is not married? What makes you think he will be truthful with you if he is not being truthful to his wife or significant other? In fact, he is not being truthful to you!

If it were me I'd drop him and find someone who is available. Someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated. As Dr Phil says, If he cheated on his wife or significant other, what makes you think he won't cheat on you too?
 
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NewfDad

NewfDad

Member
Red flags but I think more info needed. What is his situation? If he is 19 I think a bit different than if he's 50. Does he actually have a place? Is he working homeless? I've seen a TSA worker living in a shelter.
 
J

JackandKelly

New member
Whoa, walk away and if he wants to be with you he will change his ways. Also...have you googled him? I can go online to my county's website and look at marriage licenses. It really may not matter since it could just be a girlfriend, but if you are sitting their bored it *might* give you some info
 
Pipelineozzy

Pipelineozzy

New member
I 'd find out more..a lot more..and make the decision based on that. There are ways to find out for sure..once you made the commitment to do it.
 
NessaM

NessaM

New member
I agree that it's odd. Have you suggested weekend or evening dates? If it were me, I'd do a little sleuthing. Art is right, there may be other, legit reasons for it - maybe he's homeless. Maybe he has a weekend job. Maybe he has kids from a previous relationship that he cares for, and he's not ready to introduce you yet.

Honestly, I'd ask him. But I'm a bit ballsy that way. I'd just say; "I can't help but notice that we haven't been to your house, or on any weekend or evening dates, and I was hoping you could explain why. I don't want to leap to any conclusions, because I like you very much - but I'm not interested in being toyed with."
 
J

JackandKelly

New member
I agree with Nessa about coming right out and asking. I had just assumed you had already done that because it is the first thing I would have done without hesitation. Sometimes it will surprise you what people will tell you if you just ask.
 
KodysGrandma

KodysGrandma

New member
I join the lots of red flags but ask group! Just make sure the answer really hangs together logically and check those portions of it you can.
 
Bojie

Bojie

New member
Possibly worse than being homeless, he could still live with his parents! I'd just ask him. After googling him of course:)
 
Honey Bear

Honey Bear

New member
You guys are great!!! I Laughed out loud when I saw the post with the red flags!!! :D
I have googled him, 41 yrs old, one kid from a failed marrige..he says he is legally divoriced...I have done a few drivebys past his house at night. Both of his plumbing trucks were in his driveway. His parents live in Oregon. (Im wondering if he lives with a girlfriend)
I have asked him to come over tonight and go to dinner and a movie:new_popcornsmiley: and he said, "ok". It will be interesting if this really happends. I will let you guys know. Thanks for the wonderful advice:hugs:You all are the best!!
At least Im not falling hard for him, and it will be easier to walk away, but I need to get some concrete answers.
 
Emma

Emma

New member
Follow him! I am sure he is married/attatched. Say u have booked tickets for sat night movies. just have it out with him.
 
newfy

newfy

New member
If you have doubts already, move on.
Why try to fix a broken old machine,
go get another new model.
 
Windancer

Windancer

New member
I admit to the red flags....but give it a little chance if you like him...Tell him about your fears and concerns.....if he is worth checking out.
 
KodysGrandma

KodysGrandma

New member
An alternate possibility occured to me regarding why he doesn't ask you to his house. It may be that he doesn't think it is good enough or perhaps he knows he isn't the world's best housekeeper
 
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