Missing my boy :(

[Clyde]

It sometimes feels like nobody truly understands how deep the raw grief is when you are in the early days. First few months are the early days. We are with you and everyone who is suffering this heartache.

I know that sick realization, when you wake up from a restless sleep, that you are not having a bad dream, this is reality. Hard to face the day. Every song, every commercial, so many things will remind you of your pain. I could not even hear a radio for so long. I am pretty sure I can relate to what you are going through. Just know you are not alone. It will get better, slowly buy surely. Tears will turn to smiles.

Michelle

 

[Erika]

Jess, I know exactly how you feel. It has been just over a month since our Lucy crossed the bridge, too. (((((HUGS))))))

I finally forced myself to wash the floors on Saturday, wiping away the last drooly marks she left on the floor in her favorite spots. I cried the whole time. I felt like I was wiping away the last traces of her.

We need a support group for folks who've recently lost their newfies. There were just too many, over a short period. Not fair!



Exactly!

so many is right...if we could only know why. Guess I should wash some things too. I tried but couldnt do it. I just put his bowl away in the closet and I still reach for 5 treats ...only need 4 now. Coming home and not seeing his big old hairy face and sweet eyes is the worst.........but gosh I miss that rutter tail.....yea a support group would do just fine.

 

[noblenewf]

Thank you everyone for the support. It helps!

 

[Diana]

I know how you feel - there is a huge void in my life since Teddy passed. I so miss having him greet me at the door with a shoe in his mouth, all the funny little things he used to do. I even miss the early morning wakeups for his pill regime and all the other "nursing" I was accustomed to doing for my boy. Still keep half expecting to see him lying on his doggie bed in the evening, can't bring myself to put that away yet.

 

[Erika]

Hugs Diana

 

[Popcorn]

Honestly, Jess, I truly know how it feels. When I lost my old newfie gal/soul mate to cancer several years ago ... I couldn't even accept it. I couldn't even bury her ashes. It wasn't until two years later that I finally could do so ...

It's strange because I felt healed after my father's death within a year (not that I don't still miss him) ... but I didn't have the close daily relationship, the unconflicted friendship that I did with my newfy gal.

So ... I get where you are at with Gabe's death. And so sudden. And he was so young. It all is compounded. Thank goodness you have old Murphy and the birds to comfort you ... just keep choosing life ... and moving forward. But it's OK, so OK, to be sad.

(((hug)))

 

[M & M's Mom Linda]

Jess...I haven't lost my first Newf yet but as I look at Max...I can't stand that I will lose him. Gabe had a wonderful life...it was all he knew...and all because of you.

 

[ZoomZoom]

Jess
No one can make sense of these early losses. There just are not words that make it better. Like most of you, I have had dogs all my life. I feel so guilty that I underestimated what they were truly capable of giving...I never realized their total capacity until I got my first Newf, Scarlet and I was introduced to the true partnership that comes from training with a working dog. I just can't imagine my life without these wonderful animals. They become our kindred spirits. Know that we all understand and send you healing thoughts for lasting memories of the wonderful experiences you shared with him.

 

[Sound Bay Newfs]

You have a great support group here, Jess. Unfortunately many of us have been there and know how you feel.

 

[Lori]

Jess, plainly put - it sucks you lost Gabe so young, it's not fair. I know, I've had those feelings too as I'm sure so many of us had. I lost Chelsea, my first newf, at only 5 1/2 yrs old. And then I lost Chance, many years later, he was 12. And that was horrible too. It's never enough with our furry friends. The holes in our hearts are so big it seems they will never heal. I still cry over both of mine. And Chance has been gone 2 1/2 years now and I still have the blanket that I took him for that last ride on sitting here right by my desk. I have the shirt I wore when Chelsea died in my closet still and my daughter gave me hers. She didn't want to see it but couldn't get rid of it either.

There's nothing wrong with you missing your boy. You will miss him forever, but it will become a "different normal".

Please give Murphy a hug from me.

 

[noblenewf]

Thank you so much to all of you. I'm shedding tears while reading. It helps to know others understand. As time goes on I miss him more...

 

[donna mote]

my heart goes out to you sweet lady, I am so very very sorry.
a big hug for you

 

[charityd]

Jess, I've been away from NN again, so I just read about Gabe this morning. I am very sorry for your loss of your precious boy. I'm sending lots of good thoughts to you and Murphy. I know Gabe is still with you in spirit watching over you both. Love and Peace, Charity

 

[mudji]

Feeling the same here, except it's been 2 1/2 months since mudji crossed. Still miss him on a daily basis. My heart is with you, and with all that have lost special newfs, and all newfs.

hannah