Heavy heart :( Support needed. (Non Newf)
- Thread starter noblenewf
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Jorge's mum
New member
big hugs from us Jess xxx its always hard when things don't work out but you have to do whats best for everyone involved, the job you have isn't an easy one and is exhausting in itself! I think you have done great with all you have had to deal with!! Quality of life is very important for all of you 
thinking of you xxxx
thinking of you xxxx
Patricia
New member
Oh Jess, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time! It seems like there just aren't enough hours in the day. You're obviously devoted to all of your animals, it must really be a struggle on your own, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to think of giving up the birds. Maybe there is someone close by who would love to spend some time with the parrots to help you out? If you do decide you need to give them up I'm sure you will make certain they get a wonderful new home, and that would really be a gift to them. You're not a terrible mom, you're being brave and honest in admitting that maybe you can't cope and that they (and you) might be better off if they had a new family. You could make an agreement that if their new family can't keep them at some time in the future that they come back to you, then you'll always know where they are. Good luck, sometimes the hardest decisions turn out best for everyone.
Tricia
Tricia
newfy
New member
We also ave 2 parrots, & I know what you are talking about; they are ALOT of work; we had to give up a green wing a few years ago because of agression problems ( broke Linda's finger & clamped on to her nose, which required plastic surgury), we gave her to a parrot rescue in Freehold,NJ & they found her a good home where she did not exhibity the same aggression problems; maybe you can get someone to help with the cleaning of the cages once a week; just think things through before you give them up, but do not feel guilty if you do; their will be a good home out there waiting for them.
Emma & Nigel's Mom
New member
It's the hardest thing in the world to give up your pets when you are stretched to your limit. Pray about it.
If you are ready to give them a new home I know you will choose only the most perfect home and that will bring you a sense of peace because you know they are being well taken care of.
I will pray for you.
If you are ready to give them a new home I know you will choose only the most perfect home and that will bring you a sense of peace because you know they are being well taken care of.
I will pray for you.
NewfLove
New member
I'm so sorry. You must be so torn. Look at it this way: Everyone of your five charges requires so much work and attention (well, except for one)! You are completely exhausted and are giving as much as you can already and I don't know how you've done it for this long. I would think hard about re-homing them, put some feelers out (as others have said) for a perfect home for them, and if it's a good fit, then you can give the remaining three animals 33% each, rather than everyone getting 20%! See, I did the math! Seriously, you owe it to yourself to have some quiet time and everyone in the home will suffer if you are suffering. I know re-homing them would be sad, but it might be the best for them, too?
Ksullivan
New member
I hand fed a Yellow Nape Amazon, and a Molocon Cocatoo. A coupld of years ago, after having him for 16 years, I rehomed my Molocon. I had wanted to for a few years because he had become so anoying with the screaming, no matter how much attention you showed him it wasn't enough. I was afraid to advertise him, because I was afraid of not knowing the person personally, and they could be mean to him.
One day I was bording our dogs, and a young college student that had been to our home and was working at the bording kennel asked me how my birds were, and I told him I was wanting to rehome Peter Pan. I gave him Peter Pan, he was a Vet student at Purdue, and I figured this would be a perfect home, so why charge, I was just thrilled I wouldn't have to worry about him. He still has him, and loves him very much.
It is hard to do, but I know it was best for both of us.
One day I was bording our dogs, and a young college student that had been to our home and was working at the bording kennel asked me how my birds were, and I told him I was wanting to rehome Peter Pan. I gave him Peter Pan, he was a Vet student at Purdue, and I figured this would be a perfect home, so why charge, I was just thrilled I wouldn't have to worry about him. He still has him, and loves him very much.
It is hard to do, but I know it was best for both of us.
twright1231
New member
Jess, Diane’s math is good! As you know, when you get divorced you cut your lifestyle resources in half. But you still have 100% of the care-taking responsibilities. It’s good you are being realistic about this situation, and there is no shame in this.
Mike had a bonded pair of green wings for 15 years, and then we got a bonded pair of Hyacinths. The green wings had two clutches of chicks and we hand-raised two of them until they were 9 months old. As much as we loved them all, when Mike was diagnosed with cancer (he’s fine now), something had to give. Birds can be wonderful pets, but they are extremely needy, messy, and loud. We also spent an incredible amount of money just feeding and caring for them. It was hard, but we re-homed them all, and they are all with loving families who can give them the time and attention we could not. Since their lifespan is so long, they will be with their new families longer than they ever were with us. And we gave them a good start in their lives.
Whatever you decide, make sure you are putting yourself first. If you burn yourself out, you and all five of your pets will suffer. If you decide to re-home them, you are providing an opportunity for another loving family to have the joy you’ve come to know with them.
Bless you as you approach another fork in the road.
Mike had a bonded pair of green wings for 15 years, and then we got a bonded pair of Hyacinths. The green wings had two clutches of chicks and we hand-raised two of them until they were 9 months old. As much as we loved them all, when Mike was diagnosed with cancer (he’s fine now), something had to give. Birds can be wonderful pets, but they are extremely needy, messy, and loud. We also spent an incredible amount of money just feeding and caring for them. It was hard, but we re-homed them all, and they are all with loving families who can give them the time and attention we could not. Since their lifespan is so long, they will be with their new families longer than they ever were with us. And we gave them a good start in their lives.
Whatever you decide, make sure you are putting yourself first. If you burn yourself out, you and all five of your pets will suffer. If you decide to re-home them, you are providing an opportunity for another loving family to have the joy you’ve come to know with them.
Bless you as you approach another fork in the road.
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Pipelineozzy
New member
Jess, it's a tough decision. I know that. I was widowed suddenly years ago and had to make that decision about some of my animals...(also had two pre teen children to take care of.)
It was heartbreaking, but also a little uplifting to have them in homes where the people HAD the time for them without being stretched.
It was heartbreaking, but also a little uplifting to have them in homes where the people HAD the time for them without being stretched.
Crosslake25
New member
The best mommies are those that still have their sanity, energy and joie de vivre. Sometimes that means making big changes, sometimes it's asking for help to get a break from all of the responsibilities, and sometimes all that's needed is a good night's sleep. Great mommies like you will figure out which will make things better, and reaching out to this community was the perfect first step.
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
noblenewf
New member
Thank you to all of you for your support, understanding and suggestions. I have much to think about and some big decisions to make. One thing I know for sure- I have put so much love, time, care, energy (and thousands of dollars) into these birds- I will not let them go to anything but the perfect home. I just pray that the right home at the right time comes along- if that's what I decide to do. I have had them since they were babies- barely with any feathers. They just had their fuzzy down feathers I've fed them, played with them, taught them how to perch, watched them learn to fly and take their first flight. It's so tough. Thanks for the prayers and support.
I've fed them, played with them, taught them how to perch, watched them learn to fly and take their first flight. It's so tough. Thanks for the prayers and support.
KodysGrandma
New member
Jess- sometimes we simply cannot do any more. I've been there a few times in 72 years and it's very tough, especially for those of us who pride ourselves on being able to "carry the load" and take whatever life throws at us. You love the animals above yourself and if it becomes necessary to find another home you will find a great one and know that they are well off. Do not beat yourself up.
ozzysma
New member
so sorry jess that you have had to make so many very hard choices due to circumstances beyond your control. please to not feel guilty, everyone needs time for them or you are not going to be any use to the rest of your crew. follow your instinct on what you can or cannot handle. i dont know how you are managing all your pets with on person and income.
Melissakins
New member
Whatever you decide won't be done easily.
Three years ago, almost four, we took in a 14 year old B&G who just needed a place to stay. She'd been passed around four times (once was from her breeder, so it doesn't really count) to different "homes". She was an office bird for a few years, but on the weekends, she was left to her own devices in the dark from Friday afternoon to Monday morning. I'm hoping she had a window at least to have some light, but nonetheless, alone. Then she lived with the guy who brought her to the office when the owner of the office decided to turn off the AC over the weekends to "save money". Meaning either she was going to roast or she was going to freeze depending on the weather. The guys wife couldn't stand her so he gave her to his sister who had her for a few more years. Her husband didn't like her.
So we took her in as a foster and she's still with us.
They're like kids. Kids who never mature past oh...3-4 years old if that old. They have chainsaws mounted on their faces, they're loud, dirty, demanding etc.
Definitely not for everyone. We have two B&G's and two parrotlets. We had a quaker who was 10, who passed away in March He was my little heart....he had fatty liver disease. It was quite a shock to me when he died.
Do not feel bad for asking for help.
Three years ago, almost four, we took in a 14 year old B&G who just needed a place to stay. She'd been passed around four times (once was from her breeder, so it doesn't really count) to different "homes". She was an office bird for a few years, but on the weekends, she was left to her own devices in the dark from Friday afternoon to Monday morning. I'm hoping she had a window at least to have some light, but nonetheless, alone. Then she lived with the guy who brought her to the office when the owner of the office decided to turn off the AC over the weekends to "save money". Meaning either she was going to roast or she was going to freeze depending on the weather. The guys wife couldn't stand her so he gave her to his sister who had her for a few more years. Her husband didn't like her.
So we took her in as a foster and she's still with us.
They're like kids. Kids who never mature past oh...3-4 years old if that old. They have chainsaws mounted on their faces, they're loud, dirty, demanding etc.
Definitely not for everyone. We have two B&G's and two parrotlets. We had a quaker who was 10, who passed away in March
He was my little heart....he had fatty liver disease. It was quite a shock to me when he died. Do not feel bad for asking for help.
NewfMom
New member
Jess,
I know you will do what is best for all involved. FWIW, we have a very good local parrot rescue here. Maybe they can help you find a resource in your area. :hugs:
www.phoenixlanding.org
I know you will do what is best for all involved. FWIW, we have a very good local parrot rescue here. Maybe they can help you find a resource in your area. :hugs:
www.phoenixlanding.org
lacey9875
New member
Jess, the best ( and hardest ) lesson I learned when I got divorced was that I couldn't do it all, and that it's ok to ask for help. I am very much a control freak and it was incredibly hard to admit I needed help or couldn't do it all. I know you'll make the best decision for you and your birds. :hugs:
KS Newf
New member
Jess, please do not feel guilty. You must do what is right for your mental and physical health. If you are ill, everyone will suffer for sure. Do what you need to do and your animal babies will win and so will you. God bless you with peace in doing what is right for you, and thus for all concerned. You are a wonderful, warm, loving person. The fact that you are considering these choices as you are shows this.
Erika
New member
Hugs Jess, you do need time for you. It not easy becuase you love so deeply but please dont feel guilty, a good home will be found for them. Its hard to carry such a load and keep up with it all and life in general. I remember last yr when hubby had heart surgery and for 6 weeks i had it all to do, 5 dogs, a house and a full time job.......I was a bit wacko, cant imagine what your going threw but sending angels of strength to guide you .
new_2_newf
New member
I don't have any advice, but don't you dare feel guilty for not being super human. In your heart you will know the right choice to make, and we will be here to support you no matter what that choice may be. Sending lots and lots of hugs.