Big Decisions -- Long Story

[TinaM]

As most of you know our Murphy has had 6 surgeries for two torn ACL injuries. Most recently we sent him away for rehab for almost 8 weeks at a top notch facility hoping that he would regain his ability to straighten out his back and be able to walk normally again. When he first came home he was significantly improved on his left leg, but the right still looked extremely bad to me. After his second week home he keeps injuring the right leg and hopping on three feet as best he can considering he just had surgery 8 weeks ago on the left leg. I was very concerned that he had damaged the left again as well because I really couldn't tell from which leg he was hobbling the worse. He is definately lame in both back legs and is extremely stubborn and difficult to get to go outside for any reason. He must be lured out with food that he is not usually allowed to have. I am finally at the decision that this is not a good quality of life for him. I have tried surgery, wheel chairs, rehab and of course love and support.

I am in complete tears as I write this. I am strongly leaning towards euthanizing him. However, the vet wants to try and place him in another home instead. I am completely incapable of making this decision. If you saw him walk (a term I use loosly) you would clearly see that no one in their right mind would take on this dog. I really think our surgical options have ended and it is time to let this boy go. To complicate matters further my husband thinks it is a perfectly suitable life to stay on a bed in the entry way all day and hobble outside two or three times a day to potty and come back inside. Am I missing something? This is a dog that will never go for a car ride, take a walk on a leash or frolic in the backyard or pool again. Is this a life worth living?

 

[cedarvalleynewfoundlands]

I am SO sorry you are going through this. I cant offer any advice on what to do except to say that I think for most of us euthanasia is something we think about, rethink and then rethink again. It is something that is there in the dark corners of our brain, that one thing we know is probably best, even if we dont want to admit it. By the time we say it (or write it) out loud, we have been thinking and pondering about it for a while.My opinion is that your instincts are probably right if you are thinking maybe that time has come. when i asked my vet a long time ago how you know when the time is right, his answer was "The goal is to let them go on their last good day". He said you always know when you have waited to long, and the trick is to let them have their last good day, and then let them go.
If he has had his last good day, you will know the time is right. My heart goes out to you.

 

[zennewf]

I think your leanings are correct. His lifestyle would be that of an old, old newf at the end of their life ... for the rest of his life. That's a long time to be uncomfortable. I'd be thinking about giving him a fresh start in another realm.

I feel for you and your family ... so hard.

Liz

 

[Tricia2]

My thoughts are with you, and truly, I think this is one of the most heart wrenching decisions any one who owns a pet must face. We always hope that they will pass peacefully in their sleep at a venerable age. I think you know what is best, but ask yourself...is he engaged in life, does he look up with anticipation when you enter the room, does he eat with relish, does he interact with the household, do his eyes say 'I'm trying to..." and does he have more energy with each passing day? Have this discussion with your vet, perhaps he has seen his patients rally with tincture of time. Or maybe, like you, he see's the prospect of euthanasia as admitting defeat and accepting the fallibility of his arsenal of cures.

But I think Murphy himself will tell you. The answer is there, I wish you peace of mind in whatever decision you chose.

 

[SunnyD]

My eyes are filling as I type this. This is perhaps one of the hardest decisons we will ever make. When I made it for our Celery, I knew it was the right thing to do. And you will too. Murphy loves you, he will always love you. Truly, we are the ones who suffer when we let them go. I like to believe they go onto a world with no pain, where they can run free. No matter what you decide, we are all here for you.

 

[CMDRTED]

I really wish I could offer something that would be helpful. I too would be very torn as to what to do. Trust your instincts, and as always what's best for Murphy. I really fell for you. It's a tough decision.

 

[R Taft]

Firstly why would the vet consider a new owner? That would be so stressful for Murphy, surely.......I really truly feel for you...........It is a very difficult time for you and there are no easy answers or comparisons. We all have different stories. Elizabeth has Gracie and she seems still very happy, even though she has limited movement. I had Zacky, he had a stroke and for two years he had limited movement............But we kept him, he spent a lot of time just lying around,no car dirives and no trips but he was a very happy dog. And I think that is where the decision has to come from. How is Murphy dealing with it/ he will let you know when the time is right. And then you will know the time is right. It is a very difficult road you are walking now. And the other important thing is, that if you both love the dog a lot you have to make the decision together. No-one on NN can give you an easy answer. We can give you support and tell you our own stories/experiences. And allow you to tell yours. :hugs: to you. I wish I could help you more also :hugs: to Murphy, Ronnie

 

[lilly06]

Tina-
I PM's you. Orthopedic braces could be an option. I have the name of a company that was recommended by my OS at UCDavis. Most OS's aren't real hip on the braces but they really like the results of this particular brace. The PT at UCD also really likes the brace. We may end up going that route on Lilly's left leg if we do not get good results with the physical therapy.

 

[Ginny]

I'm so sorry for Murphy and you. :hugs:

Why does the vet think another home should be considered?

 

[Sailorgirl]

I known you've done SO much already, but have you tried Adequan injections? Murphy's case may be beyond that at this point, but I suspect it would bring you some comfort to know that you had explored every avenue available prior to making such an enormous decision.

 

[Erika]

Hugs prayers and angels be with you as you travel this heartwrenching journey.......send love and support for you and Murphy

 

[BoundlessNewfs]

You have gone above and beyond what most pet owners would do, to try to help your wonderful boy. Only you can know what is best for him. If you believe his quality of life is not there, and that it's not likely to improve, and that he's suffering (you know he is, hobbling around like that)...then it may be that the kindest thing you can do is hold his head in your lap and let him know you love him, while the vet helps him cross the bridge. Rehoming would be cruel, in my opinion. He would feel abandoned by the one he loves most, and in his state, that just wouldn't be fair.

Our hearts and prayers are with you, as you wrestle with this decision.

 

[Jeannie]

You have gone above and beyond what most pet owners would do, to try to help your wonderful boy. Only you can know what is best for him. If you believe his quality of life is not there, and that it's not likely to improve, and that he's suffering (you know he is, hobbling around like that)...then it may be that the kindest thing you can do is hold his head in your lap and let him know you love him, while the vet helps him cross the bridge. Rehoming would be cruel, in my opinion. He would feel abandoned by the one he loves most, and in his state, that just wouldn't be fair.

Our hearts and prayers are with you, as you wrestle with this decision.

Took the words right out of my heart and wrote them for me. I hope you find peace in what ever decision you make. No dog should be allowed to suffer especially after all avenues have been tried. Sometimes it is just kinder to do what Laurel posted.

 

[Lori]

I know how hard this decision is too. Chance spent alot of time just hanging out. He was still eating, drinking and going out but with help from me. I spent a lot of time sitting on the floor, next to his bed keeping him company. He was still excited to see me and wagged that tail alot. I felt it wasn't time yet since he seemed to be enjoying life still. I didn't mind at all helping him get around, and it was alot. It was when he started losing control of his urine/bowels and not eating that the decline started. But everyone is different and only you can know when it's time. Prayers and strength coming for you and Murphy.

 

[TinaM]

Thanks everyone. The OS feels like surgery is still an option. The problem is that with each surgery comes complications, depression, not eating, pain and of course failure. How many times can they tell me that this is the one that will change everything for him. All I have done is continue to send him away to become a lab experiment and start all over again. With each surgery the recovery is harder, the complications continual and his outcome has been worse and not better. He does lift his head and wag his tail when he sees me, but he cannot really get up without a sling and I can't see putting him through anymore surgery. My husband is content to let him be a floor ornament and put him through more surgery. I really just don't believe there will ever be any improvement. It is obvious he is in pain when he tries to stand to go potty. Many times, he falls over and sits in it. I'm really torn. Sometimes I feel like he is no different than a dog in a cage undergoing medical experiments -- how can I be responsible for this? He is such a young dog to put him to sleep, but I feel like I shouldn't put him through anymore pain either. My sister calls him the big black pretzel and I don't know why but that just makes me burst into tears whenever she says it. I know she is trying to introduce some levity to the situation, but when I think of what I have done to him over the past 14 months I get sick to my stomach. If I had to do it all over again I would NEVER have put them through any surgery at all. The angle of his femur and tibia were so out of alignment that all surgeries were doomed to fail with Murphy. I wish I had known then what I know now. As for why the OS wants to rehome him -- I believe they have become very attached to him. Especially since he is at the vet so much. I honestly think she thinks the surgical approach will eventually work for him and is not willing to give up. But after two fractured tibias, 4 luxated patellas and 6 surgeries it is time to call it a day -- I think.

 

[mrs big dogs]

I would watch him, does he still have the shine in his eyes, he gets excited to see you,does he try to get up,eat, only you will know when its time to let go.

When I had to let Clancy go, he was my first newf, he was 12 and had pneumonia 4 times during the winter, it was summer and he got it again, I came home from work one day and he could not get up and had pooped and pee'd all over himself,I still wonder if should i have tried harder to help him, so think before you rush into anything, I wish I was on NN when this happened to me. I could have had the support of all the wonderful folks here and suggestions on what to do.

good luck with your decision


good luck

 

[Newfs Forever]

Tina,

I am just so very sorry about Murphy's situation. I am sorry I cannot offer you any advice.

But, please know that I am sending many good thoughts and prayers.

 

[NewfMom]

:hugs: It's so obvious how much you love Murphy. As much as the vet has become attached to Murphy, she is not Murphy's family it's you and your husband. If you truly believe more surgery to be the wrong choice for Murphy, then it's still the wrong thing for him no matter who does it.

The harder thing is for you and your husband to come to a consensus on what to do for Murphy. Quality of life is key and if he doesn't have and won't have a good quality of life then who are you making him stay for?

Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is take on the extra pain of letting them go.

I hope you find peace and comfort no matter what you decide to do.

 

[Jeannie]

No matter what is decided you will question your decision. Been there. I can say you have exhausted all means to help Murphy. You have gone beyond what most owners would do. I feel you pain in your post. Sometimes it is just better to set them free when here is no quality of life. Find peace that you have done all you can and all your decisions were for the best interest of Murphy, even if hindsight makes you question your decisions. Your love for Murphy shines, he knows and he will thank you for all you have done for him.

 

[zennewf]

A surgeon will always encourage more surgery. It's what they do. They believe in it.

But you are the mom and see the larger picture of Murphy's quality of life. I think I would feel, if one of my Newfs had to go thru this, that enough had been done to him and the merciful thing was to let him go.

Liz