Baloo
New member
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
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Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
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If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
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Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
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Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
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Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
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Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
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Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
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How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
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When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say;
'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
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Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
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How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
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And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it has to be you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say;
'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it has to be you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ina n HB n Kesa
