Sad Threads

[Emma]

As I scroll down the new posts I keep seeing sad threads, ones I am too scared to open, RIP ones, Tobias etc, so don't think I don't care by not posting on them, I just can't face even opening them, reading about Rosie really played on my mind for ages, I get so upset for you all as I know how much I love my dogs and how tragic these things are...

 

[Cascadians]

I'm so glad you posted this. I've been having trouble responding to as many threads as I'd like because I read something and dissolve into tears and get paralyzed by sadness and sympathy. Just don't have the reserves necessary to respond even to happy threads sometimes. Have autism which affects whole digestive and respiratory tracks and have trouble breathing, throwing up etc when tears come, so it wipes me out.

Think it's really important that these threads be posted; the whole gamut should be out in the open about living with these magnificent furbears. Just want to apologize for not posting more. Feel guilty. Building up more emotional stamina, working on it.

 

[Ivoryudx]

Not everyone posts on every thread. Part of the beauty of having so many different people on a board like this is that sometimes another will verbalize the thoughts of many. Considering the lack of a response from a certain person as bad, or having expectations that everyone need to post to a thread is unrealistic. Sometimes life is just busy and there is no time to respond but the thought was still there.

I do believe in the threads that touch our hearts its not so much the responses as it is the release of what's happening from the person who starts the thread. Opening up is part of the healing process and sometime just putting it out there for others to read is all that's needed. Everyone has their own way of coping and that's okay.

 

[Emma]

Just realized Tobias has passed, so sad.

 

[Erika]

its Ok.........if are not united in words on here we are together in heart and soul. Thats the magic of Newfie and dog love. Just because you dont post doesnt mean you dont care. Feel the Love

 

[Joy]

Emma, I agree 100%. I have never read about Rosie and I just can't do Rainbow Bridge posts. I cry when I see a beautiful Newf!

 

[NessaM]

Emma, It's really hard for me too. My husband has actually been yelling at me all morning, because first I was crying over Debra Holloman's Facebook post, (she went and counter-protested against those hate-mongering Westboro Baptist Church people at Elizabeth Edward's funeral), and then I saw the post about Tobias. I haven't stopped crying all morning. And Sandy keeps saying, "STOP READING THAT STUFF!"

And sometimes I'm not able to read it, or respond to it. I haven't been able to follow up with Rosie's story because I'm so afraid that the next thing I read will be, "and everyone involved has been exonerated." Ugh.

I read as much as I can, and I respond to as much as I can.

 

[Garden_girl]

You know, I know it's hard to post in/read the sad threads, but when a dog dies (or is sick) and someone is hurting, it's not about how sad I feel, it's about finding the courage to face the sadness (and/or anger, in the case of Rosie) you feel and let the person know you care that they are hurting and that you are hurting right along with them.

No one ever likes to feel sad. Life is never 100% comfortable for anyone, but you never get through it without grief and sadness. I have cried thousands of tears over dogs lost here on NN and in my personal life. For me, that is what makes the uneventful days wonderful and I appreciate them.

Don't get me wrong, I am not blasting anyone for not being able to face it, I felt that way too, once. It wasn't until about 6 years ago, when my breeder (of all people) made me realize how important it was to be there for my dogs. I had to put my Lhasa down (14 years old) and I told her I couldn't face taking him in to be euthanized. With comforting words, she set me straight and I did go, and I never regretted it. I promise you this-you will never regret telling someone how sorry you are that they are hurting.

 

[Emma]

:heart:Also because my labby boy Fagan is 17 it's something so close to my heart, every night I sleep with my arm on him next to my bed as I worry he might pass in the night. But then in the morning he is happy and safe, but I know its borrowed time.:heart:

 

[Garden_girl]

:hugs: Emma

 

[Erika]

You know, I know it's hard to post in/read the sad threads, but when a dog dies (or is sick) and someone is hurting, it's not about how sad I feel, it's about finding the courage to face the sadness (and/or anger, in the case of Rosie) you feel and let the person know you care that they are hurting and that you are hurting right along with them.

No one ever likes to feel sad. Life is never 100% comfortable for anyone, but you never get through it without grief and sadness. I have cried thousands of tears over dogs lost here on NN and in my personal life. For me, that is what makes the uneventful days wonderful and I appreciate them.

Don't get me wrong, I am not blasting anyone for not being able to face it, I felt that way too, once. It wasn't until about 6 years ago, when my breeder (of all people) made me realize how important it was to be there for my dogs. I had to put my Lhasa down (14 years old) and I told her I couldn't face taking him in to be euthanized. With comforting words, she set me straight and I did go, and I never regretted it. I promise you this-you will never regret telling someone how sorry you are that they are hurting.

I agree, when we lost Glory and Garrett in the same yr, much comfort was found even by the simplest Im sorry.:heart:

 

[padkins]

It is difficult to read and post, but I think that it is great to have a community where you can give and receive such great support and/or comfort when it is needed. Nobody understands quite like other Newf owners. :heart:

 

[Murphy]

I too get very sad and upset at these posts. I have said it before that I believe NN should have a grieving period before we start posting puppy pics and funny stories etc. I know life goes on but it just does not seem respectful to me to say how sad and upset I am one minute then post something silly the next. But that's just me. I also believe that it gives great comfort to those who are suffering the loss that so many people take the time to form their words of condolence and share in that sadness. JMHO..

 

[BaileyBear]

Jen, I am torn by the same feeling. On one hand, the puppy pics remind me it's all part of the circle of life. On the other hand, I think we could just wait a bit before life goes on.

 

[KodysGrandma]

It is so hard when we lose one of our loves, but I believe we must find laughter amid our tears or we shall all go crazy. Everyone has a different coping mechanism and I think we cope better with some issues than others. Most of us here probably do better at things like our own illnesses or financial reversals, flood, fire etc. than we do with sadness involving our Newfs and our other animals. I know I do. We are such a big group that unfortunately there is always some sadness happening to one or more of us. And now I must wipe my tears and get on with things my babies need today. I too cannot always post my sympathy but IT IS ALWAYS THERE!

 

[dumainedogs]

I think my last year here has brought be an equal measure of belly laughs and tears. It has also given me so much education about the breed I feel I should pay someone! We are a community, and as such, we share the good, the bad, the ridiculous and the occasional emotional roller coaster when we log on. That is what keeps me coming back day after day.

 

[2Paws]

:hugs:

 

[NewfDad]

I was a firefighter for 10 years, one thing I learned is that the sad comes when it comes. The way to survive the sad though is to embrace the joy when it comes. No one can protect me from the sad, so please don't protect me from the Joy. As heart wrenching as losing Kimber was and is, I take comfort from the fact that Katala was born about the same time. The essence of a newf is their ability to share their love, I don't think that our pups at the bridge mind when we look at the young pups.

 

[Emma]

I think one has to post it all, the sad, the bad and the glad... but there is no joy of a new puppy without eventually the hurt of the loss, I dont think we need greiving periods, else the site will become extremely emotional. We just have to take the rollercoaster that is life I guess.

 

[pabusinesswoman]

I don't know of anyone who likes to hear sad news. I still try to respond to them regardless.

Being on the receiving end of those responses more than once, those typed words help a grieving person more than you know.... whether a dog/ family member is sick. It is just a little extra support when the whole world seems upside down from people who can relate to where your coming from. Many folks don't "get" how people feel about their dogs on here. Many just see them as a "dog" and not one of the family.

I also see posting to those posts as a way to show your last respects for the fallen one.

The puppy pics/ goofy shots help to break up the sadness. I was crying my eyes out over Tobias, having followed his story since Ronnie brought him home and then went and looked at Bosco. I was so glad that Kelly had his shots posted. They helped to put a smile on my face. It helps to remind one how small they start, grow so quickly, and always seem to go so quickly. It's just a little reminder to cherish every short day with spend with them. :hugs: