NN.... How to help when a neighbor loses a pet?

[OurnewfDarwin]

We have a very nice neighbor with two rescue greyhounds. One of her dogs has been through the ringer in the last year--two surgeries, including one to repair a fractured ankle from a long time ago (likely while she was rescued). Her vet found a tumor yesterday, and they're running tests to see if has spread. If it has, they're recommending euthanizing her. She's just so uncomfortable. She used to be so friendly and motherly to Darwin... now she just looks rejected and sad. Like she's already given up. I'm heartbroken for our neighbor who has no children and puts her life into her dogs.

What can we do to be supportive?

 

[YorkvilleNewfie]

I would certainly recommend giving credence to her mourning, if they do end up with the bad news. I think when people lose a pet, it's common for some people to dismiss their pain as sentimentality and temporal. Bake her cookies, bring over a dinner, send her a card, something to let her know that you understand and empathize.

 

[DAWNMERIE]

I cook....I can't help it. Then stick my foot in my mouth and I say everything possible wrong when giving it. So, next time I feel the need I'm only hugging and crying with them.

 

[OurnewfDarwin]

We left a post-it note on her car this morning that said, "Hugs" from Arden, India, Meri, Nate, and Darwin. We figured it wouldn't put us in an awkward position as she left for the vet, but would tell her we cared and were thinking about them.

 

[YorkvilleNewfie]

That's very sweet Meri! I bet that she appreciated it

 

[OurnewfDarwin]

I cook....I can't help it. Then stick my foot in my mouth and I say everything possible wrong when giving it. So, next time I feel the need I'm only hugging and crying with them.

Cooking would be good, though!

 

[Carlina]

Just be very supportive and comforting, this is one of the worst experiences we have to deal with with our dogs.

 

[R Taft]

Having been n her position too many times , i think someone showing they care and that it does matter is just wonderful. Even if it does not seem so at the time. it is why i landed in NN. I had an unwell dog. And most people just don't understand how much we care for our dogs.
It is lovely of you to care.......

 

[drulzelot]

Send flowers, make a phone call, invite her for tea, bake a loaf of bread, leave a goodie basket by her door. Maybe the kids could make her something. In most cases, those little things that say "I'm thinking of you" are likely to be appreciated and she'll know you care. It's also a great teaching moment for your girls, too, they will see how to show compassion by your actions.

 

[KodysGrandma]

A few years ago Hallmark had a card which read--

"They will not go quietly
the dogs who've shared our lives.
In subtle way they let us know
their spirit still survives
Old habits make us think
we hear a barking at the door
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor,
Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometimes coming home at night,
We miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them
and always will.

Someone sent this to me when my darling Kody died and I have kept it forever.

 

[catz]

That poem actually made me tear up. Its really beautiful and so true!
I think any way you show you care will be appreciated. Losing a dog is one of the hardest things to go through.

 

[new_2_newf]

that was a wonderful poem, and there is another really great one about the rainbow bridge, I'll see if i can find it. I can only echo what others have said...you guys are already doing lots. I don't know exactly how friendly you are with your neighbor, but maybe once things settle down a little bit, she might like to come over for a cup of tea or supper and just snuggle Darwin....it might help her grieve. just the simple acts of letting her know she's in your thoughts mean so much, the note was a lovely idea. stuff like that, the non-invasive stuff is what I personally perfer, but everyone is quite different in that way...I shell up when I am grieving, I don't like to have a fuss made over the fact I'm sad, but simply acknowledging the loss and entertaining the idea that I'm not in a great mood and leaving it at that really works for me.

 

[new_2_newf]

this is a sticky Leonard posted under the rainbow bridge area:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers.

Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

 

[KodysGrandma]

One year for Christmas I had a calligraphy of the Rainbow Bridge poem done for DH. Hangs in his office along with the quote from Senator Vest.

 

[OurnewfDarwin]

I was just outside walking Darwin and saw the neighbor going around the block...minus one dog. My heart sank. I just don't even know what to do. I gave her her peace, but I'm guessing this is not good news.

I love these poems!

 

[Lori]

Let her talk to you, and listen and cry with her. It helps to have someone who understands how important their family member was to them. There's so many people who will say it's just a dog, that sometimes you're afraid to speak about how you feel and what happened. To be able to talk to someone who "gets it" helps a lot.

 

[donna mote]

for me - just a hug and a tear and I know you care, no words necessary.

 

[NinaA]

Be there. Let her talk. Talking is the best way to get through grieving. Hence, visitation at funeral homes. Also, take her to lunch, or take her lunch. Mainly, be there. Oh, and don't say "Call me if you need anything", because they won't call. Offer - Can I walk your dog for you, clean your yard for you, take you to lunch, whatever you can think of. Or, just do it.

 

[2Paws]

When we have lost a beloved companion, I found any type of acknowledgement for our loss was so comforting. I think most of us feel we have to hide our grief as so many don't understand. When someone recognizes what we are feeling, I think it helps validate the pain we are feeling.

That's very kind of you to care.

 

[OurnewfDarwin]

Just wanted you to know Shira didn't make it. Turbo & I were both with her when we saw her go. The growth was entangled in her tendons & the pain was so intense that when the vet pressed the area, Shira woke up from sedation.
Shira pressed her nose to my lips a couple of times and then went in peace. I am shattered but know she no longer has pain.
I am glad she saw you & Darwin the nite before.