sokkia
New member
Dear Dog/Cat,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake claim for it becoming your food and dish nor is it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR nor is it a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me does not help because I fall faster than you can run. I can not buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch for your comfort. Dogs and cats can sleep curled up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails out strait and having tongues hang out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom.For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there. and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years. Canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I can not stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To all pet owners who visit & like to complain about our pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake claim for it becoming your food and dish nor is it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR nor is it a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me does not help because I fall faster than you can run. I can not buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch for your comfort. Dogs and cats can sleep curled up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails out strait and having tongues hang out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom.For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there. and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years. Canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I can not stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To all pet owners who visit & like to complain about our pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
