Ursa
New member
I saw this on another board and had to post it here. It originally came from a post on craigslist.
I know we've all heard these kinds of comments more times than we can count! They don't irritate me as much as the original poster though!
He/she seems to have reached the breaking point!
Every day I hear stupid questions/exclamations about my dogs. Some people are so incredibly stupid that I give one-syllable answers, or just a facial twitch.
Here are some of the best, and most common dumb-a$$ question I hear.
1. "Wow, you could put a saddle on that/ Ride it like a pony!"
No. If I wanted ponies, I would have bought ponies. Because I wanted dogs, I bought dogs.
You can try seating your pudgy butt on them, but I seriously doubt you'll get very far.
2. "They must eat a ton/ Eat you out of house and home!"
No.
See, the difference between my fit, muscular and healthy dogs and your pudgy, panting, splay-legged leash-rat is that I feed my dogs better than I feed myself.
I don't bulk buy Home Brand dog food from Safeway bargain bins, feed table scraps or shovel Schmackos into them.
I buy my meat and bones from the butcher, with vegetables and eggs from a farm, and pasta from my Italian neighbours. I handcook all that and serve it warm. I know every tiny ingredient in my dog's food, so I can eliminate food allergies and maintain optimal health.
Each of my Giant dogs eats as much a healthy German Shepard. Once a day, two hours after their walk.
The reason your dog eats so much and is so fat is because you feed it nothing but crap.
3. "They must be hard to handle/ Difficult to control"
No.
My dogs are all over 30 inches at the shoulder, and weigh over 60 kilos each. I'm 5"7 and weigh 65 kilos. If they were untrained, they would be in ranger's control by now, on the 'destroy' list.
I got them at 10 weeks, when they had already started training. I spent 15 minutes a day on them each, and 5 minutes as a group. When they reached a year old, I trained them for an hour each every day, and now randomly command them daily, to keep the obedience fresh in their heads. I can have all four of them walking besides me on a loose leash. Your dog strains at the leash, wheezing and choking, or you yank it along like it's a stubborn toddler.
All of my dogs have off-leash recall. Unclip your dog's leash and see if you ever get it back.
I can sit them down, say 'stay' and leave. I can be half an hour, come back, and be confident that they are exactly where I left them {although probably asleep}
4. "Do they lick your face/ Put paws on your shoulders?"
No.
If I allow it with me, they will naturally think it's allowed for everyone. That includes the terrified child you're nudging into my dog's personal space, or the frail old lady gingerly patting their heads. If I gently tap a baby's hand and say "Kisses", they are allowed one, careful lick.
5. "Are you going to breed them?/Dane Wolfhound mixes make great pig dogs!"
Go
Away
6. "Those scruffy ones look like they take ages to brush!"
So?
7. "You must have a huge backyard/ Not have to walk them so much"
I own four dogs that were bred from dogs that used to hunt boar, bears wolves and deer. To put them in the backyard and walk them when I feel like it would be so cruel that it boggles my mind how anybody could think it normal.
I have four high-energy dogs. I walk them for an hour each every day. Count that on your pudgy fingers.
I do have a huge backyard, and they spend some time in there, but they're not in there all day.
I walk up to four hours a day, every day.
My birthday? Yes.
Sick days? Yes.
Week I dislocated my shoulder? Yes. But slowly.
8. "I bet you don't get much mail!"
This is how my mail is delivered. My postie, who has been my postie for almost 6 years, comes to the door and rings the bell.
My dogs stand all together at the door, hackles up, and growl at him. He says playfully "Control these vicious beasts!".
When I open the door they all run out and butt their heads against his stomach. He dispenses Milky Bones like an ice-cream truck in a schoolyard. They lick his hands and snuffle his clothes.
If he comes in for coffee they drag the bag away and bring him the letters from it one by one. When he leaves they rub their heads against the window and howl.
9. "I bet they destroy the backyard!"
One day, you bought a Jack Russell from the pet store. You lavished attention on it for about 6 months, then confined it to the backyard.
All day it lies by the back door. No toys, no bones.
Early every morning you scoop cold tinned food into it's bowl and curse it for waking you up.
It used to dig holes from boredom, but you beat it, so it stopped.
And now it just lies.
And waits for you to remember.
My dogs have rotated toys daily when I'm busy. On their daily walks we run, jump, climb, jog, chase and swim together. If I walk them in the morning, when we get home they are asleep on the floor within seconds, and sleep through to the afternoon, leaving me free to make dinner and relax when I get home.
They have never chewed the furniture or dug holes because they are constantly given something to do. They are intelligent, fully grown, high-needs dogs that would rot and die if left in the same condition your overweight yapper has been left in.
10. "They must cost a lot! I paid almost $200 for my ....... from the pet store"
I waited almost a year and a half on a breeder's list for these dogs. I filled out forms, got my property inspected, visited the breeders, joined the respective clubs, studied the breeds, talked to showers, breeders, owners and vets. I got to know the parents of the pets I was getting. I signed contracts, I made friends with my chosen breeder, I inspected their property and training techniques to choose one right for me. I also spent almost $3,000 on mine. EACH.
You wouldn't know if yours was half wolverine and was bred in someone's airless caravan.
If you see someone with a big dog, don't ask or say anything seen above. We've heard it a billion times, and it's no longer funny or original.
Instead, why don't you try these:
1. "Wow, what a healthy dog! You must devote so much time to it!"
2. "I know how much effort it is to train a big dog. You've done really, really well"
3. "What a beautiful coat/ teeth. I can see how much effort you've put in"
4. Talk about someone you knew who had a large breed and how wonderful they are to own.
5. Ask what funny/loving things they do.
We're like new mothers. We will tell you about how they're afraid of kiddie pools, or how they sleep upside down, or how they drag towels around the house to get our attention.
We love our big dogs, and we're very proud of them.
They take a lot of effort, but the rewards of owning one, two, three or even four are overwhelming.
I know we've all heard these kinds of comments more times than we can count! They don't irritate me as much as the original poster though!
He/she seems to have reached the breaking point!Every day I hear stupid questions/exclamations about my dogs. Some people are so incredibly stupid that I give one-syllable answers, or just a facial twitch.
Here are some of the best, and most common dumb-a$$ question I hear.
1. "Wow, you could put a saddle on that/ Ride it like a pony!"
No. If I wanted ponies, I would have bought ponies. Because I wanted dogs, I bought dogs.
You can try seating your pudgy butt on them, but I seriously doubt you'll get very far.
2. "They must eat a ton/ Eat you out of house and home!"
No.
See, the difference between my fit, muscular and healthy dogs and your pudgy, panting, splay-legged leash-rat is that I feed my dogs better than I feed myself.
I don't bulk buy Home Brand dog food from Safeway bargain bins, feed table scraps or shovel Schmackos into them.
I buy my meat and bones from the butcher, with vegetables and eggs from a farm, and pasta from my Italian neighbours. I handcook all that and serve it warm. I know every tiny ingredient in my dog's food, so I can eliminate food allergies and maintain optimal health.
Each of my Giant dogs eats as much a healthy German Shepard. Once a day, two hours after their walk.
The reason your dog eats so much and is so fat is because you feed it nothing but crap.
3. "They must be hard to handle/ Difficult to control"
No.
My dogs are all over 30 inches at the shoulder, and weigh over 60 kilos each. I'm 5"7 and weigh 65 kilos. If they were untrained, they would be in ranger's control by now, on the 'destroy' list.
I got them at 10 weeks, when they had already started training. I spent 15 minutes a day on them each, and 5 minutes as a group. When they reached a year old, I trained them for an hour each every day, and now randomly command them daily, to keep the obedience fresh in their heads. I can have all four of them walking besides me on a loose leash. Your dog strains at the leash, wheezing and choking, or you yank it along like it's a stubborn toddler.
All of my dogs have off-leash recall. Unclip your dog's leash and see if you ever get it back.
I can sit them down, say 'stay' and leave. I can be half an hour, come back, and be confident that they are exactly where I left them {although probably asleep}
4. "Do they lick your face/ Put paws on your shoulders?"
No.
If I allow it with me, they will naturally think it's allowed for everyone. That includes the terrified child you're nudging into my dog's personal space, or the frail old lady gingerly patting their heads. If I gently tap a baby's hand and say "Kisses", they are allowed one, careful lick.
5. "Are you going to breed them?/Dane Wolfhound mixes make great pig dogs!"
Go
Away
6. "Those scruffy ones look like they take ages to brush!"
So?
7. "You must have a huge backyard/ Not have to walk them so much"
I own four dogs that were bred from dogs that used to hunt boar, bears wolves and deer. To put them in the backyard and walk them when I feel like it would be so cruel that it boggles my mind how anybody could think it normal.
I have four high-energy dogs. I walk them for an hour each every day. Count that on your pudgy fingers.
I do have a huge backyard, and they spend some time in there, but they're not in there all day.
I walk up to four hours a day, every day.
My birthday? Yes.
Sick days? Yes.
Week I dislocated my shoulder? Yes. But slowly.
8. "I bet you don't get much mail!"
This is how my mail is delivered. My postie, who has been my postie for almost 6 years, comes to the door and rings the bell.
My dogs stand all together at the door, hackles up, and growl at him. He says playfully "Control these vicious beasts!".
When I open the door they all run out and butt their heads against his stomach. He dispenses Milky Bones like an ice-cream truck in a schoolyard. They lick his hands and snuffle his clothes.
If he comes in for coffee they drag the bag away and bring him the letters from it one by one. When he leaves they rub their heads against the window and howl.
9. "I bet they destroy the backyard!"
One day, you bought a Jack Russell from the pet store. You lavished attention on it for about 6 months, then confined it to the backyard.
All day it lies by the back door. No toys, no bones.
Early every morning you scoop cold tinned food into it's bowl and curse it for waking you up.
It used to dig holes from boredom, but you beat it, so it stopped.
And now it just lies.
And waits for you to remember.
My dogs have rotated toys daily when I'm busy. On their daily walks we run, jump, climb, jog, chase and swim together. If I walk them in the morning, when we get home they are asleep on the floor within seconds, and sleep through to the afternoon, leaving me free to make dinner and relax when I get home.
They have never chewed the furniture or dug holes because they are constantly given something to do. They are intelligent, fully grown, high-needs dogs that would rot and die if left in the same condition your overweight yapper has been left in.
10. "They must cost a lot! I paid almost $200 for my ....... from the pet store"
I waited almost a year and a half on a breeder's list for these dogs. I filled out forms, got my property inspected, visited the breeders, joined the respective clubs, studied the breeds, talked to showers, breeders, owners and vets. I got to know the parents of the pets I was getting. I signed contracts, I made friends with my chosen breeder, I inspected their property and training techniques to choose one right for me. I also spent almost $3,000 on mine. EACH.
You wouldn't know if yours was half wolverine and was bred in someone's airless caravan.
If you see someone with a big dog, don't ask or say anything seen above. We've heard it a billion times, and it's no longer funny or original.
Instead, why don't you try these:
1. "Wow, what a healthy dog! You must devote so much time to it!"
2. "I know how much effort it is to train a big dog. You've done really, really well"
3. "What a beautiful coat/ teeth. I can see how much effort you've put in"
4. Talk about someone you knew who had a large breed and how wonderful they are to own.
5. Ask what funny/loving things they do.
We're like new mothers. We will tell you about how they're afraid of kiddie pools, or how they sleep upside down, or how they drag towels around the house to get our attention.
We love our big dogs, and we're very proud of them.
They take a lot of effort, but the rewards of owning one, two, three or even four are overwhelming.
