Thanks everyone

[Melissa]

I wanted to let everyone know just how appreciative I am for all of your support the last two days. I read everyone's response over and over again. Yesterday I had trouble getting out of bed and was crying on and off like a faucet but today I got some house cleaning done and gave Emily a nice long bath. I think I'm cried out for now but I do feel better.

I have mixed emotions, part of me feels so bad for her for having such a short and sad life while the other part of me is angry with her for being so stupid as to taking so many pills. I even feel bad for having doubts in my head wondering or not if this was really an accident.
I have not spoken with her in a couple of months, in fact she lost so many friends in the last couple of years because of her pill addiction that changed her personality. We all tried to get her help but she was as stubborn as they get. But I know underneath all of that she had a heart of gold and would do anything for me.
It's really such a shame losing your life like that so young. But I will always remember her the way she was when she was my best friend. Thank you again for all of your prayers, warm thoughts and kind words. It really made a difference to me.

 

[bo'smom]

Hi Melissa,
I'm glad you're feeling better. Sometimes a good cry really helps. Feeling angry with your friend is a normal & reasonable emotion to have right now. In the last 3 months I have buried my sister due to suicide & the daughter of a friend due to an air bubble in a syringe while mainlining for the last time...then she was going into rehab. I know some of what you're feeling right now. Don't feel guilty, & give yourself permission to feel those feelings. In time they will be replaced with the good memories that you can hold to & cherish. Your friends drug problem was only a small part of who she was as a person. You're right...hang on to the memories of when you guys were best friends. That's who she really was. Take care of yourself & keep on huggin your Newf!

 

[Giddyuppy]

Oh, Melissa...I've been down that road, myself. It took really REALIZING that we CAN'T stop anyone from doing what they do. We can beg, plead, cry, get angered, ignore them...NONE of that works. We all CHOOSE, whether it be consciously or NOT, to live our lives the way we live them. I'm sure you know you did ALL you could do to try and get her to change. Try to keep that "on the front burner"...if you can.

You have every right to feel whatever emotion you feel over her. I am glad to see you spent time today with Emily....God's greatest therapist, in my opinion.

The shoulders stretch around the world.

 

[sarnewfie]

well i for one would give you a big strong hug, but you are to far away, so this will have to do
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{softpaws}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
you know our email addy, if you need to chat just give us a line.

 

[Leslie]

Melissa, feel away. Cry away. Get as mad as you can. Addictions are tricky little creatures and there is nothing that anyone can do for an addict except offer support, for a while. But the addict is the only one who can do anything. Even with an "intervention", an adult addict must sign the papers themselves and will not do that because they "can handle it". If you had stayed closer this past month, you may have ended up having all that positive and wonderful energy sucked right out of your life. You would have been saving a sinking boat with a shotglass. It doesn't work. Period. And you stayed longer than most. Take care of yourself. Remember what it was like before. And take comfort that, when and if she was ready for help, you would have been there for her.