Laura_Loomis
New member
This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet, and an
explanation to those friends and family who have: Most of you have read the
scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed
out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is
not. It's happening every day.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just
that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's
thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done
such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were
these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I
resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.
My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to
match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower
than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear
complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts
would stay in fashion.
It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning
I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of
my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was
really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How
clever and fiendish.
Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed,
something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without
warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?
My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now
resembled.
That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical
profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee !!
That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they
are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect
someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you?
I think I finally found my thighs ... and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a
really good price for them!
THIS IS NOT A HOAX!! (Maybe a little)
This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS !!!
P.S.
I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I
was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved
to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep
them hidden in my waistband .
explanation to those friends and family who have: Most of you have read the
scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed
out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is
not. It's happening every day.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just
that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's
thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done
such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were
these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I
resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.
My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to
match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower
than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear
complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts
would stay in fashion.
It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning
I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of
my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was
really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How
clever and fiendish.
Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed,
something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without
warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?
My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now
resembled.
That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical
profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee !!
That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they
are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect
someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you?
I think I finally found my thighs ... and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a
really good price for them!
THIS IS NOT A HOAX!! (Maybe a little)
This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS !!!
P.S.
I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I
was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved
to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep
them hidden in my waistband .
Always an outdoor person..I still looked at me, my agemates..at fifty..n didn't much appreciate what I saw. Some had already died from various complications from the 'soft life'. I , the day after my 50 th birthday..implemented a 3 miles per day hike..7 days a week. Sometimes with addit. back pack. Been doing that now for 17 years. Only if I am under the weather with a rotten cold..which happens every 12 to 18 months..will I miss a day or two..period! What makes these jokes funny..is also..mostly preventable. Do I, stripped down to the suit my momma gave me..look 18? Good lord NO. Am I storing anything in my armpits..other than Toms natural deodorant? Nope!! 
