P.S. to I'm so angry

[bria]

As some of you know I happened upon a Newf who has cancer in his leg and I've been watching this Newf for weeks on end laying on his porch and not moving. I've known him since he was a pup (he's 6 now). A few weeks ago I was bending down to say hello and he was trying to give me his paw that was so swollen it looked like an elephant's paw. I'm not totally crazy as I said I saw and felt his pain. The nanny had said to me he's in pain. So I posted this because I was questioning his quality of life but admittedly did not know what was being done although I know the people who own him and I knew they would try anything.

I decided I would talk to them before passing judgement and the oppotunity came yesterday morning. I was walking a client and the Newf was laying on the front porch and the wife (who's a nasty woman) was hand feeding him. I asked her if he can walk and she said yes when he wants to. I then asked what the prognosis was and she said it will eventually spread. She then said and I quote "it's a question of how much pain he can handle". These were her exact words verbatim. I asked her why she would want him to handle any pain at all (I was very civil and not backing her into a corner) and she said well we're trying to control it with pain meds. I simply pointed out that pain meds are okay but that it gives both you and your dog a false sense of security and that it's very hard to judge how they're really doing if on the meds. She then changed her story to say that well he's only on a very low dose of pain meds and that mostly they're using an anti-inflamatory. She's a double talker this woman. I said to her that unfortunately the greatest gift that we give them in the end is to set them free of pain. At this point I walked away.

I know I have no right to decide when someone should say goodbye to their dog but I also know that this dog is in incredible pain and I saw him barely lifting his head to eat while she was trying to feed him. I'm not passing judgement but this dog has no quality of life left. I would also like to say that people are talking about these people not only in their neighbourhood but in other neighbourhoods as well. I ran into a woman I know yesterday who has a Bernese. Her dog has the same name as the Newf and I simply stated that there's a Newf named Big. The woman knew who I was talking about and also knew that the dog was in rough shape.

I'm not crazy after all. The Newf spoke to me and I feel so sad for him and how he's living right now.

Susan

 

[skoorka]

Awful. Just awful. I don't have words for this poor boy. Hopefully this idiot will realize how much he is suffering and let him go.

 

[Ursa]

Thank you, Susan, for doing your best to make this woman see that, at the end, helping our furkids to the Bridge is the very last thing we'll ever be able to do FOR them.

We can only hope that she's at least mulling over your conversation and will either up his pain meds or stop putting him through needless suffering.

 

[bria]

Ladies you have no idea how sick I feel about this poor dog. All he does is lay on his front porch barely moving. He can't possibly walk as he weighs close to 200lbs. and with that swollen foot there's no way he can walk without assistance. I'm trying so hard to pass judgement on this woman but honestly I really don't care about her I care about this poor Newf. You know the people in their neighbourhood call me the pet psychic. I have this ability to sense/feel, read animals, I don't know call it what you want. I can tell you within the first few minutes of meeting a dog (rescues in particular) what's been done to them.

Thanks for you kind words but this dog is haunting my nights.

Susan

 

[KodysGrandma]

There must be some way to get a humane group to help-call all of them If that doesn't work call the newspaper annonymously and tell them that an animal is in great pain and you can't get anyone to help.

 

[R Taft]

Prayers for Big...............

 

[Charlie'sMom]

I feel SO BAD for the poor dogs family. And for the poor dog.

I am sure they LOVE their dog and only want more time with him.
His "mom" is hand feeding him, giving him pain meds, and trying to get more time.
I am sure anyone who has had a sick dog can empathize with that feeling.

It is their vets job to try to help them make the decision, not a strangers, not the papers. Period.

Try to put yourself in their shoes.
If you don't like the situation, stay away.
Its up to the family to decide when to let go, and guilt trips and judging them are not going to help anyone.

 

[Ivoryudx]

Time out!

I simply pointed out that pain meds are okay but that it gives both you and your dog a false sense of security and that it's very hard to judge how they're really doing if on the meds. She then changed her story to say that well he's only on a very low dose of pain meds and that mostly they're using an anti-inflamatory.

Pain meds are how ALL Vets handle Osteosarcoma! They are adjusted as needed. It does not stop the dog from having a sense of wanting to live!

You would be surprised at how swollen a dogs foot can be and them still walk on it. IF you feel so badly about this Newf then call animal control. This is not for you to decide, but it is your responsibility, and the neighbors responsibility, to report a situation that is abuse/neglect. Not to go behind their backs and talk about them to everyone in the neighborhood and on the internet.

I totally respect your opinion, and that you very well may be a 'gifted' individual but I do not know you. Anyone can be anything through the internet and your comments that he 'spoke to you so you know he is ready to go, are not something that everyone believes in. Please report this as abuse/neglect if you see it that way.

MY thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family!

 

[bria]

Susan I don't view this as abuse. I've stated that they are trying everything possible for the dog. I feel bad for them as well. It's a horrible thing to have to deal with. I didn't suggest that the dog was trying to tell me it was his time I merely suggested that he was telling me he's in pain. No you don't know me but it's not so far fetched to believe that someone could actually be connected to animals especially since my whole world is animals, my home, my business and my rescue. After many years of doing this you do learn to read them.

Jen people are always going to talk no matter what. Just for the record I'm not the one initiating these discussions it's the other people who are telling me. I'm very respected in the community. Everyone knows me and what I do in the animal world. I don't know if they're looking to me for assistance but I'm not doing anything. As it was pointed out it's not my place to make a decision for anyone.

I also know that when you see your animal everyday is sometimes hard to see things. When I lived in the neighbourhood I told a number of neighbours that if they ever saw anything about my animals to please tell me. Little things like weight loss that is sometimes hard to see on a daily basis. This may sound strange to some but it was very important to me.

I once had a dog walker in the old neighbourhood get out of her car and come over to me to check out my little Maltese. He was very thin and never totally healthy and I guess to an outsider he may have appeared to be in need of medical attention. At the time I was offended because I didn't know her and then I realized I would have done the same thing.

In the end all I'm trying to say is that I feel really bad for the dog and his family.

Susan

I can't stay away as I'm on their street several times a day because I have clients there so it's almost impossible to take another route.

 

[drulzelot]

I feel SO BAD for the poor dogs family. And for the poor dog.

I am sure they LOVE their dog and only want more time with him.
His "mom" is hand feeding him, giving him pain meds, and trying to get more time.
I am sure anyone who has had a sick dog can empathize with that feeling.

It is their vets job to try to help them make the decision, not a strangers, not the papers. Period.

Try to put yourself in their shoes.
If you don't like the situation, stay away.
Its up to the family to decide when to let go, and guilt trips and judging them are not going to help anyone.

I have to agree here. Both she and her vet are in charge of his pain meds, and the family probably really knows the dog better than anyone else does. I'm not trying to be confrontational, but I can tell you, when The Count gets even the slightest boo-boo, he will milk it for all it's worth. He sprained his wrist a few weeks back, and although he was healed enough to resume his walkies and kick 'Kee's butt (so he thinks), come Easter afternoon when Grandma and Grandad came to visit, he resumed his limping. The whole "Poor me, I can't walk" thing, and of course, being doting Grandparents, they gave him plenty of "sympathy". When they left, he ran around the backyard like nothing happened. He's pulled that one on me before when I was studying for exams. So what you may see and what they may be aware of could be quite different. The Count would also love to be hand-fed, and would "work it" if he could, lol. I'm not saying all dogs manipulate, but they can and they will. Both of my dogs love nothing more than lying on the front porch watching the world go by. That is what gives them pleasure. It sounds to me as if the dog is happy and being well cared for, and that is what we all ask of these wonderful beasts. It may not make you happy, but it makes the dog's people happy and makes the dog happy (even though you may not think so) and that is what matters. When they decide the time is right is their business. The really best and non-confrontational thing you can do is tell them you know other newf owners who have been through the same thing and if they are interested in what measures they took or the latest treatments, give them the links to newf-net, newf-list, and newf-tech. That way they can learn more about what they can do. By telling them your opinions about their treatment choices you are placing judgement on them and their abilities to make these decisions, and that really isn't the best way to go about helping the dog.

 

[bria]

You are absolutely right. I have tried to encourage them to go on NewfNet a number of times and when I found out the dog had cancer I told them to go on here as there would probably be quite a few members who have experienced this. I guess they want to handle it their way and that's their choice. I feel bad for the kids as well as they are young and I'm not sure how much they understand although kids today are much wiser than in my day so maybe they do understand. It's sad for all. I was very pleasant when I talked to her and didn't point a finger or anything. I would never do that especially not to someone who's dealing with a sick dog. I like to think I a pretty decent person and pretty down to earth. It was pointed out here that anyone could be anything they want on the internet and the funny thing is I'm probably more me here than anyway else. I know I've shared things here that I haven't even shared with family and friends. Maybe I feel safe as the members here aren't my neighbours or maybe it's the bond we have but I've met some really great people here and even if I don't agree with things that are said I will still respect people and will not pass judgement.

Susan